| What's up? |
[18 Mar 2011|05:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
These past two years have limped by slowly. I'm starting to see an end in sight. I'll be meeting with a vocational rehabilitation specialist soon and figuring out what my new job is going to be. It's one part exciting and one part intimidating. To think that after almost 13 years in Neonatal Intensive Care I'm going to head in a new and different direction is interesting and daunting all at once.
I still miss Banjo, I think about him daily. Jon got me a nice big photo-frame and it's filled with photos of him, plus a bunch of the family, too.
I haven't really spent any time with any of my friends or my brother, Lee. I guess I've been in hiding. Sorting myself out. I feel that I've been enough of a recluse and want to see people again.
I volunteer at a nursing home 4 hours every Thursday. It's going well, I enjoy the residents.
Chloe is amazing. She'll be 13 this year. She's always busy drawing and making videos. One of her youtube accounts is baloneysubmarine. Not sure what her other one is. She cracks me up and is really enjoyable to be around.
Jon. What can I say about Jon. Love. His acceptance and understanding overwhelms me. I am one lucky lady.
Cheers, folks!
|
(5 rinses | spit)
|
|
[20 Jun 2010|08:53pm] |
Jon, Chloe, Nate, Ryan and I went to Toronto last night to see Iggy & the Stooges.
Good times.
|
(1 rinse | spit)
|
| Hot Doug's & Cable Cars |
[09 Jun 2010|12:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 mellow |
] |
I went swimming this morning and it was good. I love getting up early and swimming; I never thought I'd feel that way about getting up early for anything, but I do.
The back solarium got jacked up last weekend by Jon and my dad so it's all level again. They laid new sub flooring and then put down laminate flooring. I really wanted my dad to hold off on laying the laminate until I could caulk all the leaks on the curved windows, but he didn't want to listen and just wanted the job done. When I woke up at 6 it was pouring and I had to put down 6 drip pans, all the while cursing these leaky windows and the fact that the caulking didn't close all of the leaks. Now I'm going to have to strip off the caulking that we did and redo it all. Frustrating. I want to get the big desk moved into the solarium and get back my painting space. Right now it's all in a mess and when I go in there all I do is drink coffee and stand there staring at the mess. I can't do step B until step A is solved (which was what I was trying to impress upon my father.)
I was hoping to go for a bike ride today but I'm not interested in biking in the rain.
Jon and I are trying to figure out whether we should go to Chicago in September, or San Francisco.
|
(17 rinses | spit)
|
| Things and stuff... |
[07 Jun 2010|04:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
Things have been going along quite well. My meds are finally balanced properly and I feel more like myself again. I miss Banjo every day, and dogs better be allowed in heaven because if not there is going to be hell to pay when I get there. Who am I kidding? I am totally going to hell. Haha.
I don't really even believe in the concept of heaven and hell, actually, but I'm not getting into it. I just want to see my dog again. It sucks that he's gone.
I'm still swimming 4 days a week and have gotten back to being able to swim at length without stopping. My mom is still swimming with me, too.
Chloe and Jon are awesome. Jon's extra awesome because he's slow cooking ribs on the BBQ for dinner. Monty is great, I'm working on teaching him Banjo's *wink* trick. I think Monty is a little duller than Banjo was. A little slow to pick things up. Oh well, he's still adorable, but his farts are caustic.
My dad just left a bit ago, he and Jon jacked the solarium back up and levelled it, put new sub-flooring down and then lay a new laminate floor.
I was in a car accident in January. Not my fault. I was rear-ended at a high speed on the highway. After all these years with problems with my right shoulder I now have problems with my left shoulder, too. It's hard to do things with two bum arms.
What next?
|
(7 rinses | spit)
|
|
[07 Jun 2010|02:01pm] |
my fish is coloured now. I haven't taken a photo of myself in a long time now.
|
(spit)
|
| RIP |
[07 Jun 2010|01:55pm] |
Banana-Joe Banjo with his bum-leg.
|
(spit)
|
|
[27 Nov 2009|08:52pm] |
|
Chloe's birthday. Went to the Science Centre. N stuff. I am exhausted
|
(3 rinses | spit)
|
| so i wait |
[24 Nov 2009|07:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
I realize that I have a lot of anger. I tend to direct it inwards and I don't cope with it very well. I'm learning, or trying to. Thursday can't come fast enough.
tick............................tock...............................g o e s t h e c l o c k ...
|
(3 rinses | spit)
|
|
[19 Nov 2009|06:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
It's been several weeks since I've smoked anything. So I guess I've officially quit. I don't know that I crave for the nicotine anymore, but more the habit of doing something with my hands and mouth. I realize when I make a comment like that I'm opening myself to all sorts of lewd comments, but whatever. I don't deny my oral fixation. Freud would have a field day with me.
Just 45 minutes to blow and then I get to go swimming. My mom has been coming with me since one of her doctors told her that she needs to strengthen her back.
I guess I'll pack my towel and stuff. My mind isn't working at any sort of pace that I can blog all sorts of interesting and fascinating things right now. Maybe I'll regain my humour again. Hopefully sooner than later.
I miss watching TV. (I almost blogged I miss watching TB. Whoops!!)
|
(1 rinse | spit)
|
| Anger & Coffee |
[17 Nov 2009|06:46pm] |
What the hell is happening in my life? What is happening to it? Am I some sort of social experiment? Do you want to stand back and watch how many times I fuck up? What bad decisions I make. How I look at my daughter and cry because I'm not the same mom she knows. I've officially lost it. This itty bitty keyboard does not help. I'm wireless so I might as well be comfortable. I'll check for errors later. Or should I? Who's even watching; and more importantly why?
I am a human being and I have certain rights, I honestly feel that some sort of ethical human-rights law is being broken where as I am concerned. Instead they increase my anti-psychotics. I nod, grin, suck them back and think, "fuck you." I know what's real.
I realize that I haven't developed into this perfect soul that everyone might want to interact with, but I am what I am. I feel like everyone just wants to change me.
This whole evening has been so unreal.
Later I'll go back to pretending that I don't notice the things that I do. Try to be one of the "Normals".
News for you: I will never be one of the "normals"
Welcome to lielielies. Tell me about your anger & joy.
I'm bi-polalar--and a fucking mess.
|
(17 rinses | spit)
|
| i might be quiet, but I'm not dead! |
[14 Nov 2009|07:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
Hey fellow bloggers, I know I haven't posted in a loooong time (35 weeks according to the announcement when I logged in). I almost deleted my journal recently, but my husband told me to hold off on that idea. I'm glad he did. I guess I've always been the type to make quick (and often times rash) decisions. There are many of you that I want to maintain contact with and share my silly and sometimes tragic stories with. I've been doing my journals on paper lately because I wanted the privacy for some of my thoughts.
I'll just keep this one brief for now, but expect me to be blogging. Here, there, whereverywhere? Somewhere, I guess is my point. Somewhere in this here internet of tubes and wires.
Everyone over here is doing A-ok.
Talk soon!
|
(11 rinses | spit)
|
| Eeh! |
[13 Mar 2009|05:01pm] |
Jon sent me this from work. I laughed so hard my face hurts!
|
(3 rinses | spit)
|
|
[14 Feb 2009|02:00pm] |
the endless blockade
|
(2 rinses | spit)
|
|
[04 Feb 2009|09:43am] |
Had a doctor's appointment yesterday and I'm down another 5 lbs. Hell yes. I also took my basal metabolic rate from 1742 to 2189 in 8 weeks. I love it, I love it, I love it. My doctor asked me if I'd be willing to do a talk for him in one of his classes. I said hell yea. My sister in law, Erika, is now working at Dr. W's office and she really likes it there. He mentioned that there would be more nursing positions opening, but I'm happy in the Neonatal Intensive Care. Maybe when I get back to school he'll take me on to do my clinical hours in his office, I was talking to a psychologist there a few weeks back and she said that she did 1600 hours of her clinical work in his office and it was terrific.
Now I just need to figure out if I want to get my BsCN, which will allow me to be a registered therapist in Ontario, and then get my Masters in psychology, or if I should just go for a Psych degree and then go for my Masters. So many options open to me. I think I'd better make an appointment with a student advisor at Mac soon to pick their brain and see what option would be best. I imagine doing my BScN would probably be the wisest way to go first, because I can apply PLC (prior learning credits) to my degree as I'm already a Registered Nurse with many clinical hours behind me.
Last night was my first night shift in just over a year and it went very well. I worked with 2 super nurses and one that's a mild pain in the ass (she just likes to get into and know everyone's business and is totally bold about it, it gets under my skin sometimes. That and the horrific gas she has.) At about 5 to 7 this morning all the power in the hospital went out. YOIK!!! There was nothing but total blackness, silence and the collective gasp of 30 nurses. We had an oscillator ventilator going on one of our gaffers and that generally equals some major respiratory instability. Turned out that they stored all of our emergency flashlights in a room, instead of at the bedsides, like they used to be and we all scrambled to our ventilated babies hollering for our resuscitation bags and as quickly as the lights and machines went out they were all on again. After all was said and done we figured that the power was probably out for only about 45 seconds before the back up generators kicked on, but Jesus Murphy, that was the longest 45 seconds that we'd experienced. I'm glad that it all turned out well and there were no complications that arose because of it. Well, one minor complication... I had to wander around the parking garage in total blackness after my shift was over and try to find my car. But I finally did. Whew!
|
(12 rinses | spit)
|
| what's up |
[03 Feb 2009|07:43am] |
It's been a little while since I last updated. I guess I've been keeping myself somewhat busy. I'm back to work full time, which is good. It's really nice to be working bedside again, especially since my specialist told me that I'd never be able to work bedside again. Guess I proved him wrong. I missed the little, bitty babies. I've been keeping up my swimming on my days off and do yoga when I can't get to the pool. I'm down 60 pounds so far and it's making me feel great.
Jon's not enjoying his course so much this semester, but what the hell, credits closer to his teaching degree. There are some classes out there that you just have to slug your way through, not everything is going to be stimulating in ways that you might want.
Chloe has been busy collecting information and photos for her project on raccoons. She and Jon are going to work together with her camera and clay and put together a stop motion video for her presentation.
Anyway, I should pack Chloe's lunch and then get back to bed, I'm doing a 12 hour night shift tonight.
the father:
the baby:
|
(6 rinses | spit)
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
enfuego's journal
